People think I'm really healthy when they hear I don't eat meat or dairy. Like, kale-every-day, never-eat-a-cookie healthy. It used to be true---when I first started trying to eat a whole foods, plant-based diet, I was great at it. Some days it's still mostly true---I don't have much of a sweet tooth, and I'm a wiz at getting green veggies into all kinds of dishes---but there any many days I eat bread, potatoes, more bread, and more potatoes. Sometimes there's pasta. After a holiday season that included cookies, chocolate, and a heaping helping of my mom's cooking, I am staring down the barrel of Detox 2014. There are conversations happening as I write this about whether this thing is going to last 7 days or 10, but let's handle it one day at a time.
The Plan: Eat fruits, veggies, beans, non-wheat grains, and little else. No alcohol or coffee (ouch).
The Preparation: A trip to Costco and a trip to Trader Joe's, followed by a mini-trip to QFC for tahini (really, TJ's? Get with it and stock tahini.).
Roll out of bed to the sounds of the little one stirring, realize I don't have to race to make coffee before he gets really upset that he's still in his crib. This no-coffee thing seems great so far!
Quickly throw standard smoothie ingredients in the Vita-Mix---spinach, kale, banana, frozen berries, water. Suck it down while throwing together Son's food for the day (which looks delicious). Wife wonders why the smoothie is so thick, and adds water. I may have gone overboard trying to make it seem chewable.
I'm at my desk, feeling pretty good. I've totally got this no-coffee thing handled, and I'm not even tempted to eat my almonds yet.
Starting to feel the hunger. My smoothie doesn't pack the same punch as the banana with peanut butter I usually eat. I eat a few almonds and feel better, then have a ridiculously productive morning at work. At some point, I eat an orange and have some tea. In my freezing office, I'm really starting to miss the warmth I usually get from coffee.
Decide I need to delay eating lunch as long as possible, so I don't chew my arm off during the evening commute. Head out to distract myself by shopping for non-food items. Find an awesome sale and spend the rest of a Visa gift card that's been hanging out in my wallet. By the time I'm paying for my haul, I'm feeling a little foggy and tired, and I have a hard time following my conversation with the woman ringing me up.
Finally heat my lunch, which is a veggie chili I made the night before. Delicious! Man, this is going well! Note to self: eating food distracts from lack of coffee. Must find way to eat food constantly throughout the day.
Feel like I'm going to die if I don't close my eyes. Caffeine withdrawal is making me sensitive to light and feeling like my vision is blurry. Have to speak to a coworker on the phone and can barely follow what he's saying. Make more tea and curse it for not being coffee. Stupid tea.
Head out to pick up son and Wife and find out how Wife's detox day has gone. She's hungry, but in good spirits. Having been pregnant somewhat recently, she's used to the lack of caffeine. I feel only slightly unsafe driving in my brain fog. I'm surprisingly not starving, but craving bread. Thinking perhaps a bag of gluten is just what the doctor ordered.
Scramble around making dinner for Son and feeding him, and making a new recipe for us--butternut squash mac-n-"cheese" with brown rice pasta--while Wife gets the house in order. A friend is visiting to watch Downton Abbey on our DVR, and the house is chaos.
Start eating and watching Downtown. Wife and I are eating our cleanse dinner, which is pretty good, while our friend eats take-out from our favorite place. Burn. We make it through an hour or so before Wife starts falling asleep. I silently thank her for falling asleep before I did, as I was this close to passing out. Cleansing is totally hard, you guys.
Sweet, sweet bedtime. One down, 9 (or maybe 6) to go.